The need to be loved and to give love

I work hard every day of my life,
I work til I ache my bones,
At the end I take home my hard-earned pay all on my own

I go down on my knees,
And I start to pray,
‘Til the tears run down from my eyes,
Lord, somebody, somebody,
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Somebody to love, Queen

The need to be loved is such a primal instinct for human beings that being without love or losing love can be physically painful.

Children that are neglected and deprived of love from their parents often develop issues with attachment, abandonment and a lack of empathy for others. If you read through the whose who of prolific serial killers and rapists, it’s full of tragic stories of childhood trauma. Damaged people, damage people.

I have been very fortunate in my life to be surrounded by love. I had the love of my parents right from the start and I really haven’t spent a lot of my life without love, having met my wife at 19 and we’re still together twenty years later meaning my life with my wife is now longer than my formative years without her. Not everybody is so lucky.

Sometimes love isn’t easy. Love hurts, love scars, love wounds and mars, to quote the Everly Brothers.

When I watched the video below for the first time, it was a penny dropping moment for me. It made me realise that what I get most out of love is not about the feeling of being loved but actually about having someone to receive my love.

Having someone that accepts your love and is grateful for it brings a sense of meaning and purpose to my life. What is the point of striving to be successful if you can’t use that success to make the people you love feel happy?

One day the success and the money will be gone but the love can still endure. Love is never unconditional. You can’t abuse someone and expect them to love you back forever. Love requires maintenance and work but it’s the most powerful force there is and if you let it in it will radiate your life no matter what life will throw at you.

It’s not when things are going well that love flourishes at its strongest, it’s when we are at our weakest and most vulnerable that we need it the most and you will find it from the strangest, most unexpected places.

Nothing makes me happier than being able to spread a smile, surprise a loved one and make them feel warm inside, wanted, loved, cherished and protected.