After recent events, Valentine’s Day this year is going to be quite uncomfortable compared with previous years as it’s now forever tainted by my wife’s infidelity.
Last year we took advantage of some vouchers our family had kindly bought us for Christmas previously to book a nights stay in a hotel in Cornwall. Cornwall is quite a distance so we decided to book a second night at a cheap premier inn hotel and we also used an afternoon tea voucher. It was a lovely weekend and there was no sign of problems in our relationship.
My favourite Valentine’s memory was from five years earlier in 2017. We decided in December 2016 that neither of us really wanted or needed anything for Christmas so instead of buying each other gifts, we would spend the same money on a posh night out and make memories instead.
We decided to book Manchester House, which was a famous restaurant attempting to get a Michelin star and ran by celebrity chef Aiden Byrne. We had previously had a taste of the high life, having visited a Michelin star restaurant called Castle Terrace in Edinburgh and we enjoyed the experience so we thought we would see how Manchester’s finest compared.
Me being the daft romantic sod I am, I arranged a few extra surprises for Mandy on the lead up to the posh meal. I was actually away at a funeral on Valentine’s day so I arranged for a dozen red roses to be delivered to my wife’s school (she’s a teacher). In the card with the flowers I put the following message.
A beautiful rose
Deserves beautiful roses
But there is more, before this story closes
If you can solve this next clue,
Another gift, at home, awaits you
Behind the times,
That follow the moon
There you’ll find, your second clue
The clue lead her to our bathroom clock where I had hidden a single candle and a second clue
A place for reflection, conceals your next clue
When you look, it looks back at you
This lead to a mirrored bathroom cabinet that contained some heart shaped mini candles and the third clue
Behind a door, that leads nowhere,
One that small, and perfectly square
A sweet treat, awaits you there
I had hidden a small box of chocolates in a square display cabinet in our living room along with the next clue
There is a place, that lives a bored board
But what secrets, does it hoard?
If it’s not to your accord,
We’ll swap it for another, I can afford
On the ironing board in our under stair storage area, I put a nice cocktail dress I picked out for her from John Lewis’s. I kept the receipt so we could swap it if she didn’t like it or if it was the wrong size. Women’s sizes are quite difficult to judge because it can be different depending on the style or retailer. I knew roughly what size she was but it was quite nerve-racking picking something like that.
In the end it was slightly too tight so we had to take it back and she looked at lots of different dresses in different shops in the Trafford Centre but in the end she actually preferred the one I had picked out for her, just in the next size up.
There was just one more clue to solve
Now this journey’s almost at an end,
There’s one more thing, for you to fend
You’ll find your card right under your feet
As you get up from off your seat
The final clue led to an envelope containing booking details for an Executive Suite at the Hilton hotel in the Beetham tower for the night of our Manchester House trip.
It was a great deal of fun planning it all and hiding all the clues and it was a great weekend with very special memories.
In 2020 our Valentine’s treat was a trip to Los Angeles. It started with the Premier Lounge, A private terminal at Manchester Airport where we were taken directly to our plane on the Airfield via a luxury BMW vehicle with massage seats.
We flew to Heathrow before a quick visit to the First Class lounge before flying First class an a British Airways A380. At the time Storm Dennis was causing havoc and at least half of the flights that day were cancelled. Our cabin crew told us that if we didn’t kick back when we did, our flight would have been cancelled too. There was a little turbulence but that didn’t bother me.
The timing of the trip was perfect in the end as the following month, Covid became a big issue. The trip was paid for with air miles from our previous once in a life time holiday to New York and we had a 2 for 1 voucher which meant we could fly first class one way and business class on the return leg. There was a bit of confusion about how long we had to use the voucher, we would have gone in the May holidays but the voucher would have expired in April so February was the only option. It was a long way to go for such a short break but it was quite a relaxed trip, visiting Venice beach, Santa Monica and Los Angeles itself. We haven’t been abroad since then.
Very few people, particularly working class people like us, get to have experiences like these, flying first class, eating at fine dining restaurants and staying in luxury hotels. Many women would kill to have a husband as thoughtful, kind and caring as me and it’s not just about the materialistic things, I’ve always treated my wife like the most special person on the planet and I just can’t get my head around why she would want to cheat when she had something so special.
All my memories of us are now tainted by the infidelity. I’m not sure if it’s something I’ll ever get over, especially with the circumstances and how it was at a period when I was especially vulnerable, going through severe depression, career uncertainty and the death of my aunty. It was a stab in the back when I should have had an arm around my shoulder.
I’m trying my best not to let it ruin the rest of my life but it’s very difficult when you go to sleep and get an action replay of all the deception and lies running through your head. For her this is just a mistake in the past but for me it will never go away, life will never be the same again and I’m angry because I didn’t deserve this. She could have stopped herself at anytime, but she made the decision not to. She wanted it to happen, she made it happen.
Now she’s posting photos to instagram with #TeamLambert and #MakingThingsWork, well where was her loyalty to Team Lambert when she was telling people she was single? How about when she was sexting another man in the room next to me when I was asleep? What about when she was meeting up with him in hotels and telling me she was with female friends?
I’m sorry, you don’t get to just start again because it’s convenient to you. You were in a hotel with him when I called you out. You lied repeatedly whilst looking me straight in the eyes and telling me you were telling the truth. If I hadn’t out smarted you with the phone app, I would never have found out the extent to your lies, how you completely airbrushed me from your life as if I didn’t exist whilst being completely surrounded by everything I had given you.
If I hadn’t talked to the man that had no idea about your double life you would still be trying to string both of us along today. Your “sorry” doesn’t mean anything. Your actions did. Now I have to decide whether I still want this relationship because I’m worth a lot more than to be treated like that. It’s not a decision I’m going to rush. All you can do is try to prove yourself to me but let me make it very clear, you may do your best and I may still decide I want someone honest and loyal. I trusted you. I put you first. I built my world around you. You betrayed me. I won’t forget that. Never!
This Valentine’s day you will still get a card and a gift but that doesn’t mean everything is back to normal or will ever be. The best you can hope for is a second chance.
Rant Over 