Category Archives: Diary

Yesterday I wrote a piece about the riots off the back of the murder of three children in Southport. I talked about how the media and the government have been irresponsible about labelling all the protesters (please note, I make a distinction between protesters and rioters) as far right thugs. It’s not really helpful, it only adds to the polarisation rather than addressing people’s genuine concerns.

However, I don’t think it’s a good idea to just look at complex societal issues from one perspective, I want to add some nuance. Imagine you’re a young British Muslim. You work hard in the gig economy just to make ends meet. You contribute to society and just want to live your life in peace. You’re not an Islamic extremist but when you’re out in the streets, sometimes you get that look from people as if you’re about to blow them up. It must get very frustrating and make you a bit fed up and disillusioned.

Some terrible murder occurs and automatically people jump to conclusions and assume it’s an Islamist terrorist. Racist thugs make a beeline for the nearest Mosque and try to antagonise you. They are threatening your family. They are making you feel unsafe in your own community and they make no distinction between decent, honest peaceful people like you and nut jobs that hate you and consider you as infidels just as much as they hate none Muslims.

It’s not nice, is it? It’s going to make you a bit angry and defensive, isn’t it? In the press there are lots of people calling out Islamic Extremism and complaining about a lack of integration and demanding a response from the Muslim community. It’s collective guilt. Suddenly everyone who looks a bit Asian is fair game yet you’re told you should be mixing more with people that clearly hate you. You were born in Britain, you don’t know any other country but somehow you’re not welcome and told to “go home” on your own streets.

I can empathise with that feeling. I’ve experienced it myself from another context. Whenever there is a female victim of a horrendous violent crime like rape or murder there are protests calling for men, as a group to be curfewed. Half of the population is labelled as “a problem” and told they must do something about a small minority of criminals that think violence is acceptable. Collective guilt and shame doesn’t solve anything, it just hardens people’s opinions, creating an “us” group and a “them” group.

This is why I wrote that article yesterday in the first place. The media were creating an enemy group and collectivising lots of people from lots of different backgrounds as “the far right”. It’s no different from labelling all Muslims as terrorists or all men as potential rapists.

I think we need to understand human nature if we want to improve things. A lot of the things that we do are driven by a portion of our brains that we share with nearly all mammals. Humans are just one species amongst many fighting for survival in the natural world and we have these instincts to fear people different from ourselves because those mammals that developed those instincts were less likely to be eaten by predators, be it from the same species or other species. It’s a survival instinct that has served us well in many ways but this tribalistic behaviour doesn’t help in a modern world with larger populations living together side by side.

Racism is not something that white people do and darker skinned people are the only victims of. It is not about an oppressor class and the oppressed. It’s a fundamental feature of human nature, all nature in fact. It’s something we’ve all got in common. When I say this some people are going to see it as an endorsement of racism and that’s not the case. Stating that something “is”, is not the same as saying that something “should be”.

The great thing about human beings is that we’re an incredibly adaptable species with neuroplasticity. We can’t erase our “lizard brains” but by understanding what is going on, we can work around them. The only way to stop any form of discrimination against another group is to stop categorising people into another group. We have to look for what we have in common, which often is much more than that which divides us. When we stop seeing one group of people as bad, and our own position as entirely virtuous and justified, maybe then we can bring people together.

We need to tolerate our differences and try to understand them. I’m not talking about tolerating thugs trying to burn down Mosques or extremist religious zealots calling for slitting the throats of anyone they deem to be inferior. I am not calling for the appeal to moderation fallacy, whereby we automatically assume the truth is somewhere in the middle, because it’s not. What I’m calling for is to take the heat and the emotion out of situations and try to imagine what the world looks like from other perspectives than your own and use our empathy to relate to that person. That’s how you stop people becoming more extreme.

Don’t bother trying to argue with those that are already too far gone. Those that want to legitimise violence against other people or groups. They do exist, and they’re poisonous, but also lets not assume that the extremes are representative of the majority either. The hand of friendship between people with very different opinions will do more to create peace than any protest, any angry rant.

Let us take the example of Daryl Davis, the black American blues musician that befriended members of the Ku Klux Klan. By listening to them and making them feel heard he disarmed their hatred and persuaded hundred of members to change their attitudes through dialogue. Read more about Davis here.

That is how you do it, not “anti-racist” placards or organisations like “Hope Not Hate” whipping up fears with their lists of non-existent far right protests. Not calling people fascist or racist or “far right”. The simple art of getting people together and having a chat, getting to know each other. De-escalating tensions, not pouring petrol on them. No weapons, no face masks, no banners or chants. Just talking and giving each other the benefit of doubt. If that person responds with violence, walk away.

I’ll leave you with my favourite quote of all time from Fredrich Nietzsche

“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”

In December 2022 I wrote an article in response to a published piece in the mainstream press about a man forced to pay for two seats on a flight. Since then, I have been fortunate enough to fly abroad a couple of times and each time I’ve encountered some problems relating to booking seats.

It’s a fairly niche issue. Most people don’t have to worry about these kind of things when they go travelling but sadly obesity is a prevalent issue in Western countries so the chances are that more and more people will experience these kinds of issues in the future, especially with the trend amongst airlines to cram as many cattle, I mean passengers, onboard as possible to maximise revenue.

Not that I blame airlines for trying to maximise profit with smaller seats. It’s very difficult to make a profit as an airline given the number of issues they face with rising costs of fuel, taxes, intense competition and the sheer logistics of air travel at a time where demand outstrips supply for qualified pilots, take off slots and the aircraft themselves.

As sympathetic as I am to the unique challenges the industry faces and how enthusiastic I am about the privilege of widely available air travel, I do think this is an issue the industry can and should do better with for the benefit of all passengers regardless of size.

First of all, I want to make it clear that I’m not an activist demanding special treatment for fat flyers. I am quite happy to pay an additional fare for an additional seat in the interests of my own comfort and the comfort of other passengers, even if that means the extra cost results in fewer opportunities to indulge in my passion for aviation.

I know some people think that larger passengers shouldn’t be allowed to fly at all but their position is just as extreme and ignorant, often pronouncing fears of planes falling out of the sky because they’re overloaded when the chances of this happening with a modern jet airliner are nil. Lithium batteries in vaping devices are a far bigger threat to aircraft but there’s no clamour to ban vapers from travelling.

I think passengers should be considerate of other passengers and I completely understand other passengers boarding a plane, seeing someone of a larger frame and hoping that they haven’t drawn the short straw and ended up sat next to the larger passenger. I know that look. I can see what you’re thinking and I understand. I wouldn’t want to be sat next to another “person of size” either, which is why if I’m flying alone, I always book an additional seat unless flying in business class or above.

What the general public are not quite so aware of is how difficult airlines make it for obese passengers to be able to do just that. I’ve yet to find an airline in Europe that makes it easy to book two seats for one person. It’s easier to book a seat for a Cello than it is to request an extra seat for the comfort of yourself and fellow passengers. I’ve flown with RyanAir, easyJet, Lufthansa, TUI, British Airways and Jet2. The situation may be different in other parts of the world.

Airlines want you to use their online systems but when you book online, if you try to put the same passenger name and passport number down, either at the time of booking or checking in, the systems think it’s an error and often make booking online impossible. Some airlines have specific work arounds, using the passenger name “Comfort Seat” for example, but finding out that information is really difficult. It is rarely listed on the airlines website anywhere.

If you are lucky, you might find a paragraph hidden deep in the terms and conditions advising passengers that they need to book two seats if they need a seat belt extender, but they tend to stop short of actually telling you how to do this. You either have to find a random aviation forum somewhere or you have to ring up the airline. The online chat services just tell you to ring the sales number.

When you ring up, the staff are often confused and think you’re trying to book an “extra legroom” seat and they often don’t know the airlines own policies because actually, most airlines prohibit passengers that need a seatbelt extender from sitting in exit row seats as you need to be able to assist with opening of a door in an emergency. The bulkhead seats or first row seats often have a different type of seat that have fixed arm rests so they’re not suitable either. To be able to book a suitable seat you need to have intimate knowledge of the configuration of seating on board a particular airliner and even within the same fleet, that can be different for the same type of aircraft. It would be nice if airlines at least published the seat pitch, type of arm rest and any regulatory restrictions on the seat selection screens of their booking systems rather than take your money and leave it to the airport staff to have that awkward conversation.

Some airlines use special seatbelts with in built airbags in business class and these cannot be used in conjunction with seatbelt extenders so even a business class seat is not guaranteed to be suitable for larger passengers. The utility of such seatbelts in an emergency situation is more likely to hinder a passengers escape than help so I wish airlines would stop using them.

After explaining the situations a few times to the perplexed sales operative, you might eventually be able to book two seats together, often at an inflated price per seat as booking via the phone is often more expensive than booking online. You will also need to pay the seat reservation fee to guarantee that your comfort seat is actually next to your other seat. It can sometimes cost three times the price of booking a standard seat once you factor in all the additional costs.

Having gone through all that additional hassle to purchase your seat, it’s now time to check in for your flight. You try to check in online, just how the airline want you to. For most airlines though, you get the same validation issues with booking online. You contact the support number. They don’t know how to handle the situation so they tell you to check in the old fashioned way at the airport. There may be an additional charge for airport check in too, although in my experience, it’s normally waived.

You go to the airport and try to explain the situation and it’s pot luck whether the operative knows what to do. There have been occasions where it has taken an hour for the airline to work out how to check me in, involving supervisors and multiple calls to head office. Other times they will tell you everything is fine and that you are checked in.

You board the plane, everything seems fine. It’s a packed flight and right at the end of boarding, another passenger appears on the plane and is allocated to the seat that you have paid for. In that situation, you could kick up a fuss and explain to the cabin crew that you paid for that seat too or you could just keep your mouth closed and sit with your arms folded, trying to minimise the amount of room that you’re taking up. You can see the staring from other passengers and you can tell what they’re thinking, “He should have bought two tickets”. “Inconsiderate b**tard”. It’s not a nice feeling. Alternatively, you could mention it, but as the flight is completely full, the only option would be to offload one of the passengers, which would delay the take off for everyone else whilst any hold bags are found and removed and that could cause even more drama and angry looks from other passengers.

This was the choice I was presented with on my last flight. I chose to keep quiet and luckily, the late boarding passenger, who wasn’t actually scheduled to be on that flight originally, was a small female passenger. I felt bad for her having to sit next to me for two hours but she was just relieved to have gotten on the earlier flight and made no fuss about the lack of room. It could easily have been a more hostile situation if the other passenger was of a larger frame.

As far as I was concerned, I’d gone out of my way to do the right thing, to consider other people, to book an extra seat at significant expense and inconvenience and still, my purchased seat was resold to another passenger because the airlines system wasn’t clear and the airline staff in the airport didn’t read the notes in the system. It’s very frustrating and it’s completely unnecessary.

Last year, my flight returning from Portugal was cancelled at 5pm the night before I was due to return with little explanation. By doing my own research on Portuguese news websites, it turned out it was the result of strike action by the airlines flight crew and was known about at the time of booking. There were no alternatives flights to my local airport from our destination airport. I had two options. Either fly to an airport hundreds of miles away from home and find alternative transport at the other end or fly from a different airport a few hours drive away from where we were staying in Portugal to my home airport.

I opted for the latter, and hastily arranged to change the drop off location of my hire car at considerable expense, but the rebooking system couldn’t show whether the two seats I had purchased would be together. I had to find the same flight via the airline website and pretend to make a booking so that I could see the seat plan, and if there were indeed two seats left together. There was only one suitable row. I booked the seats then I had to pay to reserve the specific seats together again, even though I had already paid for the seat reservations on the original flight. It was a nightmare, but in the end, I got home safely on the same day I was originally meant to fly and I got the two seats together that I had paid for.

I tried to claim back the cost of having to change the car hire drop off and the cost of the additional seat reservations but the claim was rejected on the basis that the invoice didn’t make it clear that the cost was not for the original car hire agreement, just the additional fee to change the drop off and there was no way to provide additional information or challenge the result of the claim. In the end I put a separate claim in for the cancellation of the original flight and received the full airfare back for both my seat and the additional seat, which was hundreds of pounds more than my original claim only covering the difference in travel expenses I had incurred as a direct result of the cancellation so the airline cost themselves money by being unreasonable with the original claim.

What I would like to see going forwards is consistency between airlines. I’d like them to make it clear up front when booking seats that passengers that need an extension are required to book two tickets. Not every passenger is diligent like me and considerate of other passengers. Some obese passengers chance it and hope they’ll be allocated an extra seat for free at the airport.

I would like to see it made easier to book a comfort seat, even if it’s at the same cost of the first seat, you should be able to do it online without having to ring up and the check in systems should be updated to automatically check in the second seat. This would create an end to the needless conflict and errors caused by a system that isn’t designed to cope with the needs of bigger passengers or passengers with other needs that might mean they need a bit more room such as a broken leg.

Make it easier for bigger passengers to do the right thing and then everyone benefits. We won’t have passengers squashed next to a bigger passenger, creating discomfort and animosity towards fellow passengers and we won’t have the embarrassment and humiliation of bigger passengers either. Everyone wins! Airlines have enough problems with situations completely outside of their control so anything that can increase customer satisfaction with minimum effort surely would be a good thing!