Four Weeks
Four weeks of wonderFour weeks of joyIs she a girl?Or is he a boy? Four weeks of learningAbout all the stagesOur little beanGrowing in phases The pictures we’d takeThe things that we’d doWould he or she grow upTo be like me or you The candles on cakesThe scrapes on the kneesThe school trips, and days…
Keep readingEverything happens for a reason
They say that everything happens for a reason. What if they’re right? What if the reason this happened is because I’m not good enough to be a father. I’m too fat to help my wife pick things up off the floor. I’d be too fat to fit into a surgical gown should my wife have…
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Fears Confirmed
Saturday, 8th May was very difficult following the shock of the scan on Friday. My sister-in-law was still in the process of moving out and I helped by driving between my house and hers with the car full of more furniture and boxes but I was feeling very sad all day. I saw the inside…
Keep readingEarly Scan
Today (Friday, 7th May) was supposed to be the day we got to see our bean for the first time. We decided to book a private reassurance scan, it was originally going to be Thursday 6th May but the sonographer was unavailable so they rebooted us for the Friday. It was also the day that…
Keep readingSix Weeks Letter
Dear bean (that’s what mummy and daddy called you when you were in your mummy’s tummy), Right now you’ve been growing in your mummy’s tummy for six weeks, you’re only 1.2 cm and weigh just 0.5 grams but you already have a heartbeat and you’re already the most important part of mummy and daddy’s life.…
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The day we caught the (pregnancy) train
Everybody has those key moments that define who we are and change our lives forever. Whether it be getting your school grades, falling in love, passing your driving test or getting your first home or losing someone dear. On Wednesday, 7th April 2021 at 08:15 I had one of those moments, a moment I never…
Keep readingAgainst all odds
A couple of months earlier it felt like this moment would never come. I didn’t want to let my wife down and leave her disappointed about what might have been. We did a home Male Fertility Test whereby I had to produce a sample, funnelled into a test tube with a few drops of solution…
Keep readingAnd so it began
Having said we wouldn’t get too involved in the process, the geeky side of me couldn’t help but order an ovulation test kit, male fertility test kit, and special supplements that were supposed to maximise our chances of conception. My wife had already been using a couple of apps to track her cycle so she…
Keep readingWhat Changed?
So, you can see, I had lots of reasons not to take the risk of fatherhood yet now, at the age of 38 years old, I find myself expecting a child for the first time ever and I haven’t run away…yet. Well, over the years, there have been the occasional wobble where after copious amounts…
Keep readingWhy Now?
You may be wondering why a couple would suddenly start trying for a baby when the woman was in her early forties, more so if you knew that we had been in a relationship since she was twenty-three years old. We started dating on 21 September 2002, then we got engaged on 23 September 2006,…
Keep readingI have ported the diary I kept from April and May 2021 which covered trying for a baby, getting pregnant and ultimately suffering a miscarriage from my perspective.
I hope that it might encourage other people to talk about their experiences.
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- Diary (88)
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Rant Over 